THE CULT OF THE SUGARDUPS

THE CULT OF THE SUGARDUPS by Cathy D. Slaght


Yesterday was day #1 of the hormone reset eating plan- just 20 more days to go.

All that's eliminated the first 3 days is red meat and alcohol. Should have been easy. BUT may have screwed up because pimento cheese, a favorite, was on sale at Publix.

Yes, dairy is still allowed so far, even sugar. But the online journal someone recommended,
www.myfitnesspal.com, (which is excellent) gave me the # of calories I should consume every day for my age and height- and the cheese, which was for lunch, made it necessary to eat a very small dinner.

Went to bed hungry.

Maybe that's why I had the crazy dream- or whatever it was-

From somewhere far away, Sprout was barking. I couldn't get to him because the room was filled with a bunch of Darth Vader types.

The one who seemed to be in charge said :“YOUR WORK WILL BE DELEGITIMIZED IF YOU CONTINUE POSTING ABOUT SUGAR ADDICTION.”

“What did I say that wasn't true?” 

THAT'S NOT THE POINT. YOU MUST NOT DISPERSE KNOWLEDGE THAT REFUTES PROGRAMMING IN PLACE.

Sounded like some kind of crazy cult. But on he went...

OUR MIND ALTERING PRACTICES ARE HIGHLY EFFECTIVE. WHY DID YOU DEVIATE?

“I realized our food is loaded with sugar. This is a death sentence. Look at the health statistics”

NO CRITICAL THINKING ALLOWED.

They began to chant, in unison:

THE MORE SUGAR YOU EAT, THE BETTER YOU FEEL. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY, FILLED WITH ZEAL.

Then – from somewhere- beautiful music. Hypnotic The cult swayed back and forth as they sang, over and over ...

TRUST US WITHOUT QUESTION. 

The leader removed his helmet. It was Smokin' Man.

At that point, there was a bright flash of LIGHT.

It was SPROUT- with a LASER BEAM SWORD.

“I don't want to get rough”, he snarled. “But if you don't leave immediately I will turn you all into a bunch of sugar addicts..”

The Darth types ran, but Smokin' Man smiled and said

I AM IMPRESSED WITH YOUR POWER. THERE IS A POSITION AT THE TOP OF THE INDUSTRY FOR YOU. YOU WILL BE VERY SUCCESSFUL...AND WEALTHY..

Sprout looked at me sadly. “This isn't another one of those crazy diets is it? You know you always go NUTS when you're on one”.

“No” I said. “It's a hormone reset.”

“Okay, fine” He turned to Smokn' Man . “You even put sugar in Dog Food” and pointed his sword ...

... I woke up.

Sprout got some extra walks today.  Wanted to make sure I stayed on his good side.

Speaking of which- another great app to download - Charity Miles- it records how many miles you walk and makes a corresponding payment to your chosen charity.

The good still outnumbers the bad.

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